Have you heard of 'Playing hard to get? well, in this day and age, it seems like playing hard to get is the way to win their heart.
The whole notion of going with the flow seems to be lost on some of us but let’s be honest, when we are looking for Mr or Ms Right us strong women will not wait for it to come, we go out and get it because we know what we want. However, this kind of trait isn’t always viewed as positive and instead can come across as aggressive or easy. So, with that said, playing hard to get may be the only way some of us can catch and keep Mr/Ms Right.
Playing hard to get
We have all heard the expression but what does it really mean? And how does one play hard to get in a way that is functional and works for both parties rather than against either of you? Plus isn’t it wrong to play games? Isn’t there something fake about having to counter your instincts or shouldn’t we just be true to how we feel and be upfront with our love interest?
The thing is, playing hard to get doesn’t mean treating people with condescension and intentionally inflicting hurt. Playing hard to get is simply remembering that life and love don’t have to be all serious.
We have all lived perfectly fulfilling, purposeful, enjoyable lives as single gals so we can certainly maintain or return to that status at anytime. Once we enter a relationship we should still value ourselves, our independence and sense of choice. When your life as single is satisfying it wont be that easy to convince yourself that you need to commit to sharing it with another person. Playing hard to get is simply a way of setting reasonable standards and valuing the life you have as an independent person. The power each of us has in a relationship comes from knowing that in the end, if push comes to shove, we can leave.
Truth time
The truth is, some of us are so addicted to certain actions to soothe our anxieties that we make ourselves unnecessarily easy. We can’t bear the thought of being disliked for being difficult. We are desperate to be liked even by people we barely know that we start making it our business to make things easier for them:
- We tell them exactly how available we are
- We let them “queue jump”
- We cancel other plans when they make a last-minute offer
- We ignore signs that we are being taken for granted and pretend its fine
- We compensate for their lack of effort
- We spend a lot of time worrying about what they are thinking, how they are feeling and what we can do to make them like us more
- We lower our expectations
But who said they even wanted us to do any of that ? No one.
So instead, when playing hard to get we are happy, centered and confident enough to:
- Let the bees come to the flower rather than be the flower that attempts to impress the bees
- Know that by being yourself is enough.
- Accept they like you just the way you are
- Keep some balance between outgoing and incoming texts and calls
- Accept that if they don’t wish to pursue you, that’s really their loss.
- Remember that there is more to life than how they feel about you.
When you set your boundaries, know what you are worth and more importantly be YOU, Mr or Ms Right will be knocking on your door in no time.
We have picked out our top books from Insite Mind that will help you be more confident in yourself and your choices so that you can go out and catch Mr/Ms Right while not giving a damn about being your fabulous self!
